Friday, August 04, 2006

Something Different

Tonight, I am feeling a little conflicted. So, I have something different to talk about. Last night, some time before midnight, I smoked my last cigarette. Now, I have tried to quit many times past, but I have a four week break in between class that just ended this past Thursday and the beginning of fall semester. I always have excuses for not quitting:

"It's too cold[up here in Michigan], I need the warmth of a cigarette."

"In between taking one class a semester and doing absolutely nothing else, I'm too stressed to quit."

And my personal fave: "I will kill you before I quit smoking and no one wants me to go to prison, right? "

Well, now I have four glorious weeks of nothing, or almost nothing to do. I have lost five pounds thus far and am in a highly agreeable mood. Wow, I am almost happy. I know a lot of people get pissy, because I have a good life. My husband has a good job, which pays well and has excellent benefits. I only go to school full time. I do attempt to clean every once in a while, but usually, I just end up moving the dirt and funk to different places, hoping that A) the cats won't rat me out and B) that my fairy godmother and /or magical cleaning elves will come and whisk all the dirt away. I think our house is being visited by Mr. Clean's evil twin brother, Mr. Not-So-Clean. Mr. Not-So-Clean swoops into houses (okay, mine) and rescatters dirt that has been artfully hidden under stoves and couches. He also dirties all the dishes, making one think that he/she (okay, me) had had a munchie fest at 4 a.m. Dude, who ate the doritos and the HoHo's? I am a highly negative, sarcastic person. It would be foolish for me to argue otherwise. But (ah, gotta love those but's) I do appreciate every single thing that makes my world. I love my husband, who is very good to me. And aside from physical things, he is everything a woman could ask for in a man. We have a place to live. It's not great, but it's not that bad; and a bonus is that every once in a while some trashy people will move and create some drama suitable to Lifetime tv. You know how I love me some gossip. We eat. Very well. All the time. Without end. OK, I guess that's enough to get the point across. All in all, I feel very lucky. I'm not happy, but eh, that's just me. I also think I have been doing quite a lot of talking out my ass. A nicotine patch and an entire pack of deliciously orange-flavored 4mg nicorette will do that to me. Toodle-loo. I'll be back if I survive these first few days.


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